Growing Mushrooms, Part Three–Harvest Day

So Long to Two of You

Barbara Kingsolver, in her great book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, describes her family’s “Harvest Day,” when they would dispatch a few turkeys and chickens to meet their maker, and also to say hello to the freezer. Later, her young daughter Lily won a 4-H award for a presentation called “You Can’t Run Away on Harvest Day.” So true.

Especially if you are harvesting mushrooms. Their mycelium may run, but not so for the edible parts. We only needed a couple of these for breakfast, so I took the two largest ones from the back.

Enough for Two People

The goal was to turn these into part of an Omelette, and here is the process. This is for two people.

Oyster Mushroom Omelette

Ingredients

2 jumbo or 3 medium Eggs

2 large Oyster Mushrooms

1/2 large French Shallot

Shredded Cheddar Cheese

Salt and Pepper

Olive Oil

Simple enough, but not as much as it seems. The first step is to sauté the Shroom and Shallot, both of which have been chopped. However, remove the caps from the stems of the mushrooms before chopping. Even with a hybrid mushroom like these King Blue monsters, the stem is still harder and chewier than the caps. So cook them in this order.

Using your favorite omelette skillet, and naturally ours is cast iron, sauté the stems in olive oil until they begin to soften. Then and only then add the caps and shallot, and cook only briefly, as shallots are easy to burn. These just happen to be echalote traditionelle longue, straight outta France. Those were recently the subject of more than one political controversy.

In the early 2000’s some air headed US politicians banned several food imports from France, including shallots, in an attempt to score cheap political points–fortunately now they are on to similarly idiotic ideas, like banning vaccine mandates, books, and CRT. I never knew that cathode ray tubes were that bad. At least these short attention span dudes forgot about the dangers of shallots.

When the shallots and shrooms have cooked just the right length, add a mixture of eggs and cheese. Cook briefly on the stove top, and then throw the whole thing in the oven, and cook until the omelette firms up. Our oven was pre-heated, because were eating the following with this:

Drop Biscuits

We served the biscuits with:

Strawberry Preserves

Naturally the preserves were made by yours truly. It makes a great combination, and disappeared quickly. We also still check the weather on our old Trinitron tv, which is only hooked up to an antenna. It’s CRT has withstood the years without fail.

Great Food Poetry–Susie Asado, by Gertrude Stein

This poem is out there a bit, and furthermore, I don’t even drink sweet tea. Still, it is a beverage poem, sort of.

Susie Asado

BY GERTRUDE STEIN

Sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet tea.

       Susie Asado.

Sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet tea.

       Susie Asado.

Susie Asado which is a told tray sure.

A lean on the shoe this means slips slips hers.

When the ancient light grey is clean it is yellow, it is a silver seller.

This is a please this is a please there are the saids to jelly. These are the wets these say the sets to leave a crown to Incy.

Incy is short for incubus.

A pot. A pot is a beginning of a rare bit of trees. Trees tremble, the old vats are in bobbles, bobbles which shade and shove and render clean, render clean must.   

       Drink pups.   

Drink pups drink pups lease a sash hold, see it shine and a bobolink has pins. It shows a nail.

What is a nail. A nail is unison.

Sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet tea.

Thanks again to the Poetry Foundation, though I still prefer my tea hot, and my poetry non-Modernist.

Growing Mushrooms, Part Two–Shrooms Happen

The Drama Happens Also

Instead of waiting for a mushroom porn photo of a giant clump of Oyster mushrooms, here is an update. These are at the fast growth stage, and get larger overnight. My estimate is that they grew a quarter to half inch last night.

The King Blue Oysters are actually a hybrid mushroom, bred to combine the cap texture of the Blue Oyster with the size and tender stem of the King. Another perk is that they have the storage length of the King, which is rare for an Oyster mushroom.

The substrate here is just coffee grounds and filters, but we only use the unbleached (brown) filters. This has proven to be so effective that we are going to try another Oyster species soon, and drink a lot of coffee.

Time to look for some good mushroom pasta recipes. I’m thinking linguine in a mushroom garlic cream sauce.

Growing Mushrooms, Part One–Blue Oyster Cult

Mycelium Coming at You

My first el cheapo attempt at growing shrooms is looking up. Those are King Blue Oyster mushrooms that are beginning to form “knobs,” which will generate mature shrooms. These have only been in the jar for a few weeks, and we should have good shrooms by next month.

Now to explain the el cheapo part. I have had the Paul Stamets more or less bible on growing mushrooms for years, but it breezes past the easy to grow part, and is geared more toward the pro grower, which I am not. Then I ran across an article by fellow Southerner Tradd Cotter about growing Oyster shrooms on used coffee grounds. It works like a charm.

The process is this: layer used coffee grounds with the filters, and then add some mushroom spawn–I bought mine on fleabay, and they were top quality and dirt cheap. Repeat this until you reach about an inch from the top of your container. As Cotter rightly points out, this is the perfect way to recycle kitchen waste.

We should get more shrooms than we can eat here, so we will have to learn mushroom preserving methods next. I bet they will can well.

Fire Pit Chicken with Carrots and Purple Fingerling Potatoes, and Brioche Rolls

One Hot Bird

There’s nothing I like better than cooking a meal that requires welding gloves. This is a sure enough one, as that fire was as hot as seven little devils. Fortunately I had my crane arrangement with S-hooks, and could move the dutch oven up and down that chain. There isn’t a tremendous amount to this, but it’s all about heat and good ingredients.

Ingredients

One blazing hot Fire

Home-rendered Lard (bacon fat)

One chopped Onion

One organic Chicken

Organic Carrots

Organic fingerling Taters

White wine

Salt and Pepper

The only trick here is to sear the chicken in the lard before the other ingredients are added. Then de-glaze the dutch oven with the wine, and add the onions first, and then the other two veggies. An inch of water and a heavy dutch oven lid will turn this rig into a primitive pressure cooker. Those little taters cook fast, so don’t mess around.

The pot juices make a superior sauce or gravy, especially if you brined your bird. Any kind of bread with gravy is good, but the brioche rolls allow us to get rid of some of our surplus of eggs. It’s either that, or give them to the in-laws.

Meth Addicted Attack Squirrel Released into Alabama Woods

Or so the story goes. There is actually no physical evidence to prove that said squirrel was living on a diet of nuts and meth–only that it’s owner had a pot full of meth in his possession. Said owner was an ex-felon and probable future felon, as the pending charges against him are the following–possession of stolen property and a weapon, various other weapons charges, child endangerment, trafficking meth, and worst of all, possession of a wild animal.

Going to the slammer for squirrel possession will not get him much mileage with his fellow inmates, unless he confesses that he actually had a meth-charged trained attack squirrel. He originally gained attention from the authorities in northern Alabama because neighbors said he was keeping a squirrel that was aggressive toward people. I personally think that the squirrel was letting out a cry for help.

At any rate, the official story is the following. The police department that raided the house of said alleged meth head released this statement: “There was no safe way to test the squirrel for meth.” This information comes from AL.Com. Therefore the beast was set loose in the woods. Currently, the whereabouts of the squirrel are unknown, so watch your back when you go outside..

Escaped Alabama Kangaroo Lured Home with Pabst Blue Ribbon

I’m going to read any story that involves a Kangaroo and beer, and it’s even better when it happened in my home county of Cullman. In mid January Jackie Legs escaped from a farm that raises long horn cattle and tortoises. If I were Dave Barry, I would have to say that I am not making this up.

In addition to the PBR, the extra treat for the roo were cheese puffs, which apparently go great with the beer. It is not known if the owner tried this while drinking one of those giant cans of Fosters.

According to a local news station, “Jackie is wearing a dog collar, is very friendly toward people and will get into a truck.” Therefore, if you see Jackie at some point in the future, just pull a cold one out of the cooler in your F-150, and hide your cheese puffs.

Seven Tomatoes

Despite our annual tomato virus pandemic, MJ picked out five new tomatoes to grow for this year. I piled on two myself, and these are mostly paste tomatoes. Our favorite Festhalle tomato vendor certainly has a few thousand tomato plants already started. We can’t even grow them for as cheaply as he sells them–canning tomatoes, that is. I’ve already used a quart and a half today.

Cipolla’s Prize–An expensive little devil, about fifty cents a seed. A special Italian paste tomato.

Black Prince–Not from Wakanda, but a nice looking small tomato anyway. Black Prince forever!

Nepal–I know about as much about this one as I do about Katmandu. Still, another good looking mater.

Moskvich–Assuming this is a Slavic heirloom. They do have some great maters, along with some great dictators.

Napoli–My choice, a classic Italian paste tomato.

San Marzano–THE classic paste tomato. Check out the price for a good can of these at the market. Required for an authentic Neapolitan pizza.

Sub Arctic Plenty–My choice again, an experiment for our crazy spring weather and late cold snaps. Will allegedly take some seriously (for us) cold weather.

We have already passed our coldest average days, and February looks to be much warmer than this month. Spring fever is here already.

The Time I was Mistaken for Being Black

This has a food angle to it, so I thought I should write about it. I was in NYC for job interviews, and was really hungry. I checked out the yellow pages for food tours, and some of the most popular were soul food tours of Harlem, complete with fried chicken and collard greens. As I had eaten both of those the day before I left Alabama, I said, “What the hell is this?” I had pizza instead.

Then came the great interview for a job at Connecticut State University as a Professor of African-American Literature. When I walked into the interview room, it was more than obvious that the interview committee thought I was Black, as a Southern PhD who had written widely about African-American writers. I’m the whitest guy, genetically, that you know. I just do love a great writer, and some good soul food, but we cook the soul food ourselves.

The interview was crash and burn, but entertaining. I was asked if black students would question me about me teaching black writers (none ever has), and I responded that the knowledge of literay texts is not genetic–you learn it or not. That logical answer got me nowhere.

Alas, I am in the warm South now instead of the frigid Northeast. We may have an epidemic of stupid down here, but we know good food. If you know better than that, let me know. I’ll give you a job interview.

Chicken Liver and Mushroom Pate

Burning Down the House

No critter, not even an Aussie Shepherd, likes chicken livers as much as I do. Fried, and with ketchup, are good, but pâté is supreme. Here’s how I make it, which means simplicity, along with some fire, is better.

Ingredients

1 tablespoon Butter

1/4 pound Chicken Livers

Salt

A handful of Porcini Mushrooms–I rehydrate dried ones

1 clove chopped Garlic

Enough Brandy to set the house on fire (that’s a joke)

A few drops of Heavy Cream

Heat the butter at medium heat, and fry the livers with a pinch of salt–they don’t need much. Throw in the diced Porcini when almost cooked, add the garlic, and prepare for the conflagration.

Pour in the brandy and light her up. Poof! There is nothing as good as a kitchen fire, unless it is a sure enough grease fire. A good hot fire is the last step in the cooking.

After things cool off, pour the livers and mushrooms into a food processor. MJ and I had to step up to the plate and buy a French made Robot Coupé machine, which is advertised as “Three Robots in One.” That company did invent the things.

Add the cream–NOT TOO MUCH–to make the stuff even richer than it already is, and let the robot go to work. I leave some texture to the meat, as I didn’t like baby food even when I was a baby. Put it into a terrine/custard cup and refrigernator it. From this point, get as Frenchified as you want–I love this with a crostini, a cornichon, and nothing else. There is nothing like this kind of food to make life worth living.

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