A decade or so back, I went to a job interview in a building with bars on the windows, and I had to be given a security code to get in the door. Then one of the women interviewing me called me the following:
A Foodie
I had just enough restraint to not slap her up both sides of her head. Everyone alive eats food. I probably should have called her an alcoholic.
Mouth Feel
You can only use this term if you own a high class brothel.
Fork Tender
Stick a fork in it. That term is so last century.
Cheap Recipes
Seriously? I have a recipe for acorn flour (actually, I do.)
Paper Thin
Get out your micrometer. Don’t cook anything that thin for more than ten seconds, and never get it hotter than 451 F. See Ray Bradbury.
Tantalizing
No comment.
Neo Nazi
A food term? This requires a brief dissertation. Anything that begins with the word “neo” is to be avoided, if not shunned. You are either a nazi and a fascist, or you are not. I am only waiting for someone to use the phrase neo foodie. Oh snap, I just did.
My favorite job interview was where I was asked, “Have you ever been too drunk to fish?” My answer was “No, but you don’t know how much I like to fish.” They offered me the job almost immediately.
Apologies to the late great George Carlin.
